Holy shit I am OLD.

Not physically (godDAMN I am still fine as fuck) but in the brainmeats. When exactly did I stop spending all my brain energy contemplating Nikki Sixx's dick size (really small as it turns out) and start figuring shit outFucking meatsuit. Fucking hormones. Fucking brains ( Read more... )

So it's my mom's 70th birthday tomorrow and I suddenly got all the feels about how lucky I am that she's still here and how few birthdays we might have left together and so I found myself weeping. In Hallmark. Over the kind of sappy ridiculous card I used to mock. What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck?

Also I just broke my tooth.

As in fractured it so bad I ( Read more... )

I forget how to do this ( Read more... )

I've been trying all damned day to upload this picture of me with Michael, my absolute favourite work guy but I can't because life totally fucking sucks sometimes ( Read more... )

Lord, I spent the morning trapped in a training session that was so boring it literally gave me the shits. True story. I was fine before I went into the meeting but throughout the whole thing my bowels were attempting the lambada. As soon as it was over? Totally fine again ( Read more... )

So last night marked hell possibly freezing over because it was a Monday night, and I did go out but for the first time since possibly puberty I didn't go to Dance Cave. Instead Dede got us on the guest list for the Faster Pussycat show and we all know what a retard I am for Faster Pussycat. What you may not know, on the other hand, is what a ( Read more... )

Been staying away from the Intarwebs lately because really? If I have to see any more weeping tributes to that dirty dead child molester my head might blow clean off. Fine, he had a couple of cool songs 25 years ago. And? Since then he flew off to Planet Weird and made a career out of dodging child abuse accusations, acting like a retard and ( Read more... )

Lord cop parties are a giant snoozefest. Sorry Fratboy. It's not them. It's me. I just happen to hate Them. Them being most People, most People being as interesting as dryer lint to me. I boggle at people like Poland and Fratboy who can make the world fall in love with their smiles. Or something. I'm sure life is likely infinitely more fun ( Read more... )

Always a Patriot I was happy to do my part:


( Read more... )

My giant bag of FAIL. Let me show you it. Cuz, you know, all the rest of my retardation and whinging lately hasn't been bad enough, I decided to tap into a little Rogers on Demand love tonight. And vodka. Duh. So the vodka compelled me to narrow down my choices to Twilight and Nights in Rodanthe. And really, I have no shame left so that's not ( Read more... )